too young

October 31, 2005 at 5:53 pm · Filed under Uncategorized

in a stage of my life where my peers are getting engaged, getting married, having children, under going a quarter life crises, worrying about bills, shifting careers and a variety of things that "adults" have to deal with, i am apparently still too young to accomplish some things…yep folks, apparently i am still too young to go to Korea. i went to the embassy for my visa interview last oct 19. i wouldn’t say i was overly confident but i was a bit assured that it’s already finished. i was a bit nervous but i never imagined that i would get rejected. i was shocked , i was stunned , i was speechless for a couple of minutes after the balding (im not bitter, im just stating a fact) Korean consul informed me that i still need to work for a couple of years before i visit their country.

and after months of preparation, it finally came crashing down at me that i was not going afterall. to say that the whole event was painful would be a grave understatement. i didn’t care if i looked stupid or crazy crying on the jeep that night. i cried shamelessly and i just couldn’t help it. i kept asking God why he pushed me to keep going when he never intended to bring me to that country. i kept thinking how difficult it would be to explain to my MPD’s and my family and my friends why the heck am i doing in the philippines for the next two weeks. why God…why? then i was reminded of a verse that i made me realize how much he has in store for me:

isaiah 54:2-4 Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spead out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities.

Do not be afraid, you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace, you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For our Maker is your husband–the Lord Almighty is his name–the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.

reading this verse reassured me of his plans and how his love never ended when the consul gave his decision. it may not be the time for me but i do know it will happen someday. im still grateful because i was able to build a great relationship with all my MPD’s. they were people i already knew before but i have a deeper relationship with them as a result of this. i am grateful for the support that my family and friends have given me for the past few weeks. and i am grateful becasue despite all of these, i know my God still loves me there are still some things i need to deal with myself, my family and my cell. i’m still excited for his plans for my life

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visa adventures

October 13, 2005 at 1:46 pm · Filed under Uncategorized

i had an exhausting yet eventful day kahapon. feeling ko roller coaster nga eh…sometimes you’re up and sometimes you’re down. it started last sunday, i asked permission from my boss to be absent so i could finally (woohoo!) process my visa. it turns out na malaking NO NO pala ang pagabsent and pinapasok pa rin nila ako. at first, i really hated it. hello nakakapagod kaya magpabalik balik ng ortigas to makati and then ortigas ulit. tpos dirediretso pa ang pagsasalita ko because i’m teaching, di ko pa ginagwa napapagod na ko but still, i obeyed and i went to work. i taught from 5am to 6:30 then i (literally) ran to the embassy. one thing i learned, God always honors our obedience. good thing we went there early dahil mahaba pala ang pila nila grabe! this entire trip is all by faith. it stretched to do things I never thought was possible. sabi nga namin sa team, paglipad pa lang ata ng eroplano dito iiyak na kmi after all we’ve been through. we still had some problems though. out of the 8 people na pumunta kahapon, tatlo lang kaming natanggap ang application my other five members were rejected and we had to think of ways to make their applications work. I honestly don’t know how to react kahapon. I was happy dahil walang problem yung application yet at the same time, I feel bad for my teammates. but I do know that they will get their visas approved, no matter what the embassy says. after all, my God is so much bigger than them of course pagbalik ko ng office, may mga bagong pangyayari din…kinausap ako ng boss ko to tell me that when i get back i would start working for the night shift huwaat?! nung una sinabi ko pagiisipan ko pa. di na pala pagiisipan kasi it’s either that or jobless na ko when i go home so i guess from waking up very early (as in 3am early) my body clock will shift to staying up real late (maybe 3am late din). God really is in control. i was praying for favor sa work and he gave me everything i asked for. natakot kasi ako that i would be jobless by the time i get back from this trip but i guess he had other plans. i don’t know why i keep worrying about stuff when he ALWAYS push through. you think and think of ways to get yourself out of a mess or diskartehan ang situation but in the end, His way is always the best. im SOO glad that im his daughter

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